CONVERSATION

Bechdel Testing Life

Bechdel Testing Life is a series of plays inspired by the Bechdel Test, which asks whether a film, play or television series features a conversation between at least two women, about something other than a man. The question is one of representation. But it also makes me wonder whether women share ideas in a different way when they are together. 

Kate Fox, in her essay Girl Talk, tells us that there are many studies which demonstrate that the ways genders bond are different. As she writes, ‘male bonding tends to be more formal and organized’, and also that ‘every known human society has some form of men-only clubs or associations, special (often secret) male-bonding organizations or institutions from which women are excluded’. The private interactions between women are similarly important and should be foregrounded as well.

Caitlin Moran points out that women have fears totally outside the male experience. No man can really get why women hesitate before walking home in the dark. Girls are raped, robbed, assaulted, as well as diminished and demeaned for no reason other than that they have a vagina. That is terrifying. As Moran writes

We're scared. We don't want to mention it, because it's kind of a bummer, chat-wise, and we'd really like to talk about stuff that makes us happy, like look at our daughters — and we can't help but think, ‘which one of us? And when?’ We walk down the street at night with our keys clutched between our fingers, as a weapon. We move in packs — because it's safer. We talk to each other for hours on the phone — to share knowledge. But we don't want to go on about it to you, because that would be morbid.

Communication between the sexes is certainly possible, and understanding knows no gender. But empathy might be a different, and more complicated, matter. 

-       Lynn Ruth Miller

This diagnosis is based on the performance Bechdel Testing Life at The Bunker, London. Bechdel Theatre are at the Fringe highlighting shows which pass the Bechdel Test. Check in with their work here.

 

Links relevant to this diagnosis:

The Bechdel Test - Dykes to Watch Out For

What Women Say to One Another - Huffington Post

Women in Conversation - Elite Daily

What Do Women Talk About Mostly? - Quora Topic

What Women Never Say to A Man - Caitlin Moran, Esquire

Girl Talk - Kate Fox

Split Britches // Care Café

 

Come and share tea, cake, conversation and feeling cared for – all whilst cutting out paper. This was the intriguing invitation offered by Care Café at Normal? The concept was created by Lois Weaver of Split Britches with the aim of fostering an ‘attitude of care in an uncaring world’ and allowing people to ‘gather their wits, thoughts and comrades in action’. The idea is to converse open heartedly whilst engaged in some practical activity that may also have an activist purpose, such as making badges or posters. With hands engaged, tongues and ideas may more easily be loosened into meaningful, caring conversation.

In a low key, low lit space filled with tables spread with gingham cloths, I headed for a group who had just called for a new participant and was quickly thrust into the realms of coupledom with companions of four different nationalities. I had held forth about my amateur theories on the deeper purpose of relationships for some time before discovering that one of our party was a professional couples therapist – but it quickly led into surprisingly personal and even metaphysical waters that made us all feel very bonded. Suddenly we were friends. At another table, we started making badges and discussing our lack of craft skills, then seamlessly moved on to talk about family, differences between siblings and daughters caring for elderly parents. When two new people joined us, we quickly got into the emotional triggers forcancer and the significance of sacred geometry. Now that is what I call meaningful conversation – especially when we took it right back to family love and nurturing through the generations.

Which returns to the bigger question of care in society. Care is a two way process and giving care can be as rewarding as receiving - but in Britain we have had a government that is modelling lack of care as acceptable action. Little wonder if we feel the world is uncaring when ideological austerity is systematically withdrawing resources for the care of sick, disabled and vulnerable people and undermining pensions policy. Uncertainty about the availability of income and professional care in later years leaves an ageing population feeling insecure about their future and hence disempowered.

Caring has traditionally been predominantly the province of women, associated with femininity. When society places the work of care at the bottom rung of value, reflected by low pay, zero hours contracts and diminishing resources, then a Care Café can certainly be seen as a political statement. Interesting that it has emerged from the world of arts and creativity as did Ken Loach’s powerful and influential film, I, Daniel Blake. My experience of Care Café was not only fulfilling and thought provoking but also magical and empowering. Every neighbourhood should have one. (FW)

- Faith Warn

LINKS RELEVANT TO THIS DIAGNOSIS:

Care Café community - https://www.facebook.com/cafeofcare/?fref=ts

Split Britches - http://www.split-britches.com

Life and films of Ken Loach - http://www.sixteenfilms.co.uk

The Impact of Austerity (Joseph Rowntree Foundation) - https://www.jrf.org.uk/society/austerity

Ageing Populations (RSA) - https://www.thersa.org/discover/publications-and-articles/rsa-blogs/2017/03/a-call-to-action---21st-century-enlightenment-and-ageing-popluation